I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
