i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
