Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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