She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize