508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
