We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
