My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
