Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize