Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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