Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.â€
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
