the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
