the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize