If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
