so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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