i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
