You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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