Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
