i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
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I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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