I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
