Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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