yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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