threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
