kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
