I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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