just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
