Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm both gender and math confused
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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