she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
