maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
