So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
