ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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