i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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