Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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