at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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