I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
