he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize