If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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