none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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