I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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