theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
