im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
