Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
