so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
