I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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