i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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