he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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