It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
