You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
