Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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