Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you didnt know i had herpes?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
