I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
