Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
