how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
