How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So squirting runs in the family.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
