just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
