Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
