Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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