I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
