There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
