apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
