Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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