hell yes lets make some ravioli
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
