No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
