I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
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After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize