YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
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Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
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The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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