Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
