Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
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Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
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I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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