so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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