Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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