So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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