My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
