everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize